Keira Knightley, Go Eat A Sandwich

Personally, I've never understood the Keira Knightley love. She was fine in the first Pirates, hated her in the next two. I thought her Elizabeth Bennet was awful. I didn't mind her in Atonement. But seriously, someone explain why everyone thinks she's such a great actress, because I just don't see it. Still, she must have one hell of an agent. Just look at her upcoming projects.

Last Night

All that really needs to be said about this one is that on IMDB, Eva Mendes is the second actor listed in the cast. Otherwise, sounds vaguely like Lost In Translation. Yeah.

The Beautiful and the Damned

This would have been the perfect title for a Vampire movie. Tragically, it's a Zelda Fitzgerald bio-opic with Keira Knightley playing the title role. Can you say Ew?

London Boulevard

This one has Colin Farrell as an ex-con trying to go straight. I know, sounds amazing, right? Here's what's wrong with it. Keira Knightley plays an actress who gives him a job as a handy man. $10 says this is going to turn out to be a romantic comedy despite it's genre label "Crime."

My Fair Lady

First of all, they are violating my childhood by remaking this. Second, Knightley is cast as Eliza Doolittle. Hollywood, I may never forgive you for this.

Never Let Me Go

Oh boy. This one was just announced in good old Variety today. You ready? Trust me, you aren't ready.

Plot: "Story revolves around a trio who grew up in a boarding school with no contact or knowledge of the outside world until they discover they are clones grown for the sole purpose of organ donation."

Wait...Hollywood, you made this already. It was called The Island. You remember, Michael Bay's flick with Scarlett Johansson and a great but underused supporting class? Remember? It sucked too. So why in the hell are you remaking it? Please, someone, explain this to me, cause I do not get it.

I'm off to go cry about the state of the movie industry. In the mean time, Keira Knightley, go eat a sandwich.

~Lauren