Trailer Watch

It seems that there is an emerging trend of using Nine Inch Nails songs in trailers. First "The Day The World Went Away" in Terminator: Salvation, and now "The Wretched" in A Perfect Getaway. Yes, that is Milla Jovovich. It's nice to see her branch out of sci-fi video games. Also staring is Steve Zahn (Daddy Day Care) who is one of my favorite comic actors. Timothy Olyphant, who played the title character in last year's Hitman also stars. A lot of people slammed Hitman, but he was fantastic in the last season of Damages, so I'm kind of excited to see more from him. However, this movie has very little chances of being good, but it does promise to be fun and not take itself seriously at all. How do I know this? David Twohy wrote and directed it. Keep in mind that he is the writer of Waterworld, Pitch Black, and The Chronicles of Riddick. At this point you may be wondering why Hollywood hasn't stopped him from making movies, and the answer is that he also wrote GI Jane and The Fugitive. His directing credits include Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. On a final note, no, I don't know why they picked the Nine Inch Nails song they did. It makes absolutely no sense.

~Lauren

Trailer Watch: Holmes!

The Sherlock Holmes trailer has finally hit the net! Yeah, get excited. You can find this one here.

My thoughts? First, I'd like to express how excited I am to see Mark Strong in this film. He's a Guy Ritchie regular (you may recall him as Archie in last year's RocknRolla). But casting him as Lord Blackwood? I cannot wait! Much of the trailer is Downey getting into various scuffles. I would have liked to see a bit more of Rachel McAdams. And I'll go ahead and admit it, I was worried when Jude Law was cast. But after watching this trailer, I'm convinced that Law is going to rock this. This trailer also has some great comic moments, and I really hope that these aren't the only ones in the film. I hate it when trailers show all the funny parts.

All in all, not the best trailer I've seen, but I can't wait for more.

~Lauren

Trailer Watch

At long last, we finally have a trailer for the long delayed The Road. It's not the best trailer, although granted this is a hard story to sell. The book is one of the most depressing works of fiction ever written. Fortunately, the movie seems to be a decent adaptation, if the trailer is indicative of anything. Granted, they've obviously created a much larger part for the mother in order to get a leading lady like Charlize Theron.

You can actually make watching the trailer for Nine into a pretty interesting game. I call it "Name that Actress." I encourage you to play it and determine if the good actresses out weight the bad. Personally, I don't understand the concept of putting Daniel Day-Lewis in a musical, but...ok, I'll go for it. I'm sure it will be entertaining. Still, it's nice to see Sophia Loren on the big screen again.

~Lauren

Unnecessary Remake of the Month

This month it's a tie. Seriously, this makes me want to vomit. 

Up first is Cliffhanger. Keep in mind this Stallone bore-fest came out in 1993. The producers of this unnecessary remake are trying to sell it as a re-boot, citing the recent Star Trek as their idea of a remakequel, or whatever they want to call it. Either way, this sounds like a terrible idea. This aside, isn't there some sort of unspoken rule in Hollywood that, unless it was originally a European foreign language film, there must be at bare minimum a twenty year gap between the original and the remake?

Second up, Dreamworks has decided to remake the 1985 Fright Night. Just...Why? Seriously? Why?

~Lauren

[Source] [Source]

Exciting News!

Ryan Reynolds. Deadpool movie. Greenlight. Excuse me while I go and scream for joy.

~Lauren

[Source]

Reliving the Glory Days

Katie made a few comments in her post which referred to the old 90s X-Men cartoon. In case you missed it back in the day, there might be a place online where you could find them. 

~Lauren

Coo Coo Ca Choo Got Screwed

And so did everyone else associated with this movie. Now, I could easily turn my review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine into an angry discourse on the failure of comic book movies to respect either the canon or the fans, but I won't. I have neither the time nor the space to rant about such things. In fact, there is so much of this movie to attack that I think it's best to take it character by character and go from there.

WARNING: THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD

I've always loved Deadpool. I know that Ryan Reynolds is dedicated to the character, so I had faith Wade Wilson would be accurately represented in this film. And boy, Ryan Reynolds is having way too much fun bringing him to life. It's downright glee inducing. I wish that this film had been his movie instead, because I would gladly sit through two hours of Wade Wilson running his mouth. Sadly, the writers didn't agree, and he's on screen for a total of less than three minutes. I'm serious, and I might have gone back to some leaked footage to find out that number. It's shameful how brief his appearance is. Later in the film, when its passingly revealed his character has been taken out by Victor, Katie and I exchanged "What the hell" glances. Wade's dialogue and fight scene in the beginning of the film are by far the best part of the whole movie. 

Next, Agent Zero. Um, yeah. His opening fight scene is almost corny. We've scene The Matrix and last summer's Wanted. If you're going to try to be cool with guns, at least try to do it differently. His first fight scene established his character as the love child of Wanted and a really uncool Bullseye. Sure, he pops up later, but he never gets any cooler. He's basically an ass who does whatever Stryker tells him to, and for that he's forgettable.

The Blob, on the other hand, was wonderfully represented. Kevin Durand did a bang up job. His dialogue on the plane, his face-off with the tank...yes. Just, yes. He pops up later in the film as his typical overweight self, and unfortunately the make-up here is not top notch. Otherwise, his fight scene with Wolverine is highly enjoyable.

As for Bradley, here is another underused character, almost to the point where you question whether or not he's necessary. Dominic Monaghan looks very bored with this role, as he should be. He never does anything. He's basically a very small plot device. I did enjoy seeing him in his trailer with his tinker toys. It was a sweet moment that revealed more about his character than any other moment we see of him. I especially like the light bulb reference to The Invisible Man. Sadly, we get even less screen time of Bradley than any other character, which makes no sense, since Monaghan was announced as a main character when the casting first came out.

John Wraith. Hm, what to say? The effects for his power were cool. Otherwise...blah. Didn't really care. His outfit was ridiculous. 

Speaking of ridiculous outfits, there's Gambit. Oh Gambit. How I long to see thee accurately portrayed in cinema. This comes close, but misses the mark. What's missing? Him speaking ANY french, his red eyes, him speaking in third person, his womanizing, his thievery, his relationship with Rogue...ok, I got a bit ahead of myself on the last one, but seriously, he doesn't say a single french word at any point in the movie. Problem, huge problem. His handling of cards looked silly. The outfit from his trailers makes a bit more sense, since this is the seventies, but come on. Also, the bo staff turned into a pimp cane, complete with a shiny crystal knob on top. Yep, I'm serious. I suppose in the looks department, he works as a young teenage Remy, but no, not really.

Sabertooth, aka Victor Creed, is spot on twisted and psychopathic. Points to Liev Schreiber for that. Other than that, nothing really needs to be said.

Wolverine is still perfect, no fears there. 

Young Scott Summers is exactly that. Emma Frost is wrong. Silver Fox is wrong. 

So who did they get the most wrong? Deadpool. Oh boy. I can't even begin to go into how far of a departure this is from canon. It makes me violent. The problem is they don't seem to know what to do for a villain. If they wanted to do the Weapon X story, then that's what they should have done. Leave Deadpool the hell alone. I won't spoil the ending by saying how badly they got this wrong, but whatever you're imagining, thats it. That vision of Deadpool in a pink tutu you're having right now? It's highly preferably to what they've done.

Bottom line? DO NOT WASTE 10 DOLLARS ON THIS NONSENSE. If its at a dollar theater near you, go for it. Otherwise, wait and rent it. Yeah, that bad, and not just from a character standpoint. The line I used for this post's title is a serious line in this film. Yeah. While this film tries to be a decent comic book movie, it completely falls apart in the second half. Even the final fight scene is ridiculous. Remember Resident Evil: Apocalypse? It kind of reminds me of that final fight scene. Yes, that bad. My final word is that you just shouldn't. Don't get me wrong, a lot of this is enjoyable in a B movie sort of way. Unfortunately, the end kills its chances at being anything solid. This is one to rent. It starts out solid and then it's all downhill from there. Wait and spend your money on either Star Trek or Terminator.

~Lauren

P.S.

I'm beginning to wonder if Hugh Jackman should stop producing movies. Between this and last year's vomit worthy Deception, I think the signs indicate he needs to find another side job, because producing sure as heck ain't it.

Trailer Watch

The best part about Wolverine was the trailers. Now, my review for Wolverine will be posted shortly, but in the mean time, feast your eyes on the glory of its trailers. 

This nonsense is completely out of control, and I mean that in the best way. This is going to be insane! And the dialogue. "Smells like forty thousand a year" - Who didn't have at least one parent make this comment? Katie made a comment in her post that this feels like National Treasure meets Transformers. And she's right. That's definitely what the first half of the trailer feels like. But then, the big baddie is introduced, and that's when the stuff hits the fan. From then on, the trailer is one brief clip of a fight scene/explosion after the next. And its a thing of beauty. Obviously, plot doesn't matter for this movie. It's all about Transformers fighting Transformers, and I cannot wait. My jaw, along with everyone else's in the theater, dropped in awe. 

Up next is Night At the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. Not the most exciting trailer, and it doesn't show much more than the previous trailer, but just wait for the end. 

Now, I haven't the faintest idea what District 9 is about after watching this trailer, but Peter Jackson's name is tied to it, and it's about aliens. Do we really need to know more?

Sadly, there wasn't a new Terminator trailer in front of Wolverine, but if anything pops up on the net, I'll let you know.

~Lauren

Wait, what? Sorry, I was staring at Hugh Jackman.

It would be dishonest of me to say that I didn't have a blast at this absolutely absurd, completely unnecessary prequel. Fun fight scenes, stuff gettin' blowed up reeeeeal good, and, of course, the ALWAYS magical Hugh Jackman. While it's an enormous step backward from Marvel's greatest cinematic achievement yet, Iron Man, at least this latest Marvel flick knows not to take itself too seriously. So much so, in fact, that the silly, overblown X-Men 3 looks like an arthouse classic by comparison. As a matter of fact, the only well-composed part of the film is actually the opening credits, a beautiful montage of war scenes depicting the Logan-Victor tag team, ageless and brutal, crushing all comers. For a summer kick-start, that's just fine. Put simply, it's all brawn over brains, bub.


So, the storyline, like any other X-Men story, is just too damn complicated to work as a cinematic narrative. If you remember loyally watching that X-Men cartoon as a kid and being irretrievably lost week after week, it's a lot like that. You know, this mutant is related to that mutant, and this mutant is banging this mutant, and this mutant wants to punch that mutant in the face. Par for the X-Men course, really. But let's give it a go, anyway, shall we? Ostensibly, this one's all about the tag-team of Logan (Jackman) and Victor (Liev Schreiber) and how their ballsy brand of brotherly love disintegrates. Like all poorly conceived comic book flicks, the movie takes one too many twists, kills off at least three father figures, dead-yet-not characters, and introduces about five too many mutants. All that matters is that Logan becomes Wolverine, thanks to a nonsensical story about the moon (wait until you see this one...ouch) and some adamantium bonded to his already freakish skeleton. And he wants REVENGE. Against everybody. You know. The usual. He wears leather, rides a motorcycle, knocks people out, gets shot at, sets things on fire, runs really fast, uses his claws to destroy things, and tries to get through the silly dialogue. Needlessly knotty and often just plain silly, the plot...is really irrelevant. In fact, if you paid full price to see plot in this one, you probably ought to be slapped.

As with the rest of the X-Men movies, the REALLY important thing is which mutants come to play, how their powers are executed, and how well the cast nails the roles. It's almost shocking how uneven the casting in Wolverine is. As always, the frequently shirtless (siiiiiiiiigh) Hugh Jackman's absolutely perfect as Logan: he's an electric personification of extremes of passion, rage, and charm. Playing the ruthless, bros-before-hos sadist Victor (or Sabertooth, if you prefer), Liev Schreiber knocks this one out of the park. He seems to be having a ball, too, relishing every moment of playing a terrifying, beautifully costumed baddie. While these two make the movie, other great casting choices fall by the wayside. Ryan Reynolds makes a fabulously sarcastic mercenary as Wade Wilson, and yet his screen time is limited to some early snark and a brief re-emergence as Dead Pool, who's inexplicably become a strange mix between Nosferatu, the Crow, and General Grievous. A complete waste of a casting gem. Let's not even mention the fact that Bolt (Dominic Monaghan), Emma Frost (Tahnya Tozzi), and Wraith (epic casting fail of Will.i.am) really didn't need to be here. Yes, nerdy fans, I know you love seeing your favorites appear and show off their stuff, but from one nerd to another, get a life. Don't believe me? Argue with this: Tom Bombadil got cut from Lord of the Rings, and the world is a better place for it.

BUT. The most important issue here is obviously GAMBIT. Just as it's been since 2000, when fans first had to sit through an X-Men movie without the ragin' Cajun loverboy. We've been teased and tormented for nine years now, people. Remy LeBeau's finally come to join the party, complete with his playing cards, magical staff, and unbridled sex appeal. Finally. And the roguishly attractive Taylor Kitsch, while nowhere near anyone's first choice, isn't half bad. Does his accent need a little work? Of course. Does he need a comb? Obviously. Does the costuming department need to re-evaluate their lives? Definitely. But the man I thought would ruin the entire movie from those God-awful trailers reminded me why I love X-Men in the first place: it's just lots of cool people, doing lots of cool things, playing with cool toys, with very cool accents. So, nerds, don't dismay. At least not on the Gambit front. He's got some growing up to do, but he's there.

Anyway, Wolverine is just a big, dumb boy movie with some lackluster effects and wildly attractive men. If you're supersensitive about your comic book adaptations, I would suggest another summer movie. (Next week STAR TREK is out, so even more geek joy is around the corner). If you have $10, a couple of free hours, and want to stare at Hugh Jackman (and come on, who doesn't?), then Wolverine is a pretty safe bet. And right before the end of school, that's really all you need to get you through the week. Blockbuster season is here, folks. Rejoice.

Oh, and there's a new Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen trailer on this bad boy. Think National Treasure + Transformers.

-Katie